Newsletter 22 - Create and use a TO-BE list

A to-do list helps us fill our retirement days. A to-be list helps us fill them with meaning.

We’ve spent most of our lives measuring progress by what we get done – ticking off tasks, meeting deadlines, staying busy.

Retirement gives us the freedom to shift our focus. It’s no longer just about doing; it’s more about being.

It’s about asking (and answering!): Who do I want to be in this phase of my life?

A to-do list helps us fill our days. A to-be list helps us fill them with meaning.

Here’s how to create one, using my simple 3-step ADA approach: awareness, decisions, actions.

Step 1: Awareness – Who do you want to be?

Start by taking time to reflect. This step is about noticing what matters most to you now.

Ask yourself:

    • What kind of person do I want to be in this stage of my life?
    • What qualities or states of being feel most important to me (e.g., calm, healthy, connected, adventurous, curious)?
    • How do I want to show up for myself and for others?

Step 2: Decisions – Create your to-be list

Now turn your awareness into clear intentions.

Decide what belongs on your to-be list. Phrase each one as an “I am” or “I want to be” statement.

Examples:

    • I want to be adventurous and try new experiences.
    • I am a supportive friend and community member.
    • I am patient and kind to myself and others.
    • I am strong and take care of my body.
    • I am a lifelong learner.
    • I am a calm and present grandmother.

Your to-be choices are not tasks to complete – they are qualities to grow into.

Step 3: Actions – Bring your to-be list to life

Your to-be list becomes powerful when paired with small, consistent actions.

For each quality, choose 1 or 2 supportive to-dos: activities, behaviours, or habits that will help you grow into the chosen qualities.

Examples:

    • To-be: healthy   –>   To-do: Walk 20 minutes daily, prepare one nutritious meal each day.
    • To-be: connected   –>   To-do: Call or visit a friend once a week, join a local group or class.
    • To-be: lifelong learner   –>   To-do: Enrol in an online course, take a weekly walk to explore unfamiliar areas of your town.

Place your to-be list somewhere visible (planner, journal, fridge) and review it regularly. Ask yourself:

“Are my daily choices moving me closer to the person I want to be?”

My example

These are my favourites on my to-be list:

I want to be curious, courageous, and compassionate.

So, in the morning, I often ask myself:

What can I do today to show up with more curiosity, courage, and/or compassion? This helps me define or adjust my to-do list, and often makes the doing more enjoyable.

Make your next to-do your to-be:

Write your first “I want to be…” statement and take one small action to support it.

Our to-do lists manage our time. Our to-be lists shape our lives.

Together, they help us create a retirement that’s not just full but deeply meaningful.