Intentional Living Archives - Simply Organised at 60plus

Don’t focus too much on the goal. The desired outcome is more important.

What is the desired outcome behind your goal?

If you want to get/create what you want to have in your life, don’t focus too much on your goals; pay more intentional attention to the desired outcomes.

Don’t try to design an action plan directly after you’ve chosen a new goal.

First, find out what the reason behind your goal is – the desired outcome.

Because it’s the desired outcome and not the goal that will help you keep motivation and determination levels high while you are working on reaching your goal.

Doing the work is much easier if you are fully aware of the desired outcome.

Usually, the desired outcome is a feeling.

You find it by asking, ‘Why?’ Again and again.

Ask yourself why the goal is important to you. Or why it is a problem if everything stays as it currently is. And then question your answer with another ‘why’. And so on.

Tip: Do it in writing.

It’s difficult to get deep down the ‘why’ spiral and find the desired outcome if you try to do it in your head.

Have a look at this example to see what I mean:

Example:

My goal: I want my home office to be clutterfree and organised.

To reach this goal, I must take action and do some work: I need to get everything out, get it sorted, then declutter what I no longer need, and finally organise what I want to keep more efficiently.

I want to do the work as soon as possible and add it to my projects list.

But I don’t feel very excited about it. It’s a lot of work, and I don’t know how to start and proceed.

I decide to find out why I actually came up with this goal.

I want to find the desired outcome behind my goal – the more profound and significant reason.

So, I ask myself lots of ‘Why’-questions. And answer them.

- Why do you want to declutter and reorganise your office? – Because I want it to be clutterfree and organised.
- Why is it essential to make the office clutterfree and organised? – The room looks so full and overcrowded.
- Why is that a problem? – Because it makes me feel nervous and pressured.
- Why is it important not to feel nervous and pressured? – If I feel nervous/pressured, I can’t focus my attention.
- Why is it important that you can focus your attention? – I need that to work effectively.
- Why is it important to work effectively? – I want to be productive and create results.
- Why do you want to be productive and create results? – Because that makes me feel satisfied with myself.
- Why is it important to feel satisfied with yourself? – It makes it easier to enjoy myself and my life.
- Why is it important to enjoy yourself and your life? – That’s one of my three life goals. It’s super important to me.

Now, my formerly isolated goal fits nicely into the big picture of my life goals!

The desired outcome – to enjoy myself and my life – is much more attractive and motivating than the goal ‘Clutterfree and organised office’.

Now, there is a clear intention behind the goal, and I like the purpose – it’s very important and valuable to me.

Now I can ask: How would my office look if it was easily enjoyable? What needs to change in my office so that I can easily enjoy myself? And my life?

Answering these questions – which are directly linked to my desired outcome – makes it so much easier to decide what I need to do, and why, and how. And to get started. And get going.

What about you?

Do you have a goal that feels reasonable and necessary – but not attractive and exciting?

Give it a try – move it through a series of ‘Why’ questions and see what you can discover about the desired outcome. And how that knowledge can help you get active and take the first steps toward your goal (and the desired outcome behind the goal).

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Take the first step in retirement planning by reflecting on these key topics

Entering ‘the 4th quarter of our life’ is a big move into unknown terrain.

That’s why I love learning about theories, strategies, and tools that can help us transition into retirement successfully.

And, yes, many external resources (books, blogs, podcasts, YouTube videos, etc.) are available that offer information and advice for a smooth transition into retirement.

However, I suggest you start preparing for the next phase of your life with some internal research before you search for external ideas and recommendations.

Kickstart your retirement journey by reflecting on crucial questions.

Questions like these:

- Your Identity: Who are you right now? What are the essential parts of your current identity? – Which of these parts will you take along into your retirement? What do you need/want to change about the person you are right now? What are the essential parts of your new identity?

- Your Purpose: What are your current values, beliefs, and the things you stand and fight for? – What are the topics, goals, passions and interests you want to focus on in future? How do you want to (re-)define the meaning of (your) life?

- Your Relationships: What does your social network look like just now? Who are the important people in your life? What do you appreciate in your relationships, and what frustrates you? – Who will naturally drop out of your contact list? Who do you want to add? Which relationships do you want to change or intensify?

What else could YOU ask yourself to move forward intentionally?

Intentional Living: What do you want to care about? And what do you not want to care about?

Living our lives intentionally includes thinking about and deciding who we want to be and how we want to show up in our lives.

It also includes deliberately deciding what we want to care about – because it’s important to us – and what we are not willing to care about—because it’s not important to us.

What do you want to care about?

Trying to answer this question can be an intimidating and overwhelming exercise.

Because there is so much to care about!

Everywhere we look, there is something to care about.

We see so many things – in ourselves and others – that we want to improve, change, fix, or act on because we care about them.

However, the caring potential that each of us has is limited.

If we try to care about everything that comes to our mind, that attracts our attention, enthusiasm, or passion, we are doomed to fail, get disappointed and discouraged, get exhausted, and burn out.

Because our time, energy, and personal resources are limited – we can’t care about everything.

Once we recognise that it is impossible to care about everything we want to care about, we can decide to focus our caring potential on the things we personally care about most.

We can decide to deliberately constrain our caring by asking ourselves:

What am I not willing to care about (any longer)?

Little exercise:

Setting up some guiding steps before you start writing down your answer to the question above can be helpful.

Consider these suggestions:

#1 – Make a list of all areas of your life.

Example: Relationships, work, home, fitness and health, finances, personal interests and hobbies, etc.

#2 – Choose the area you want to focus on right now.

Example: My relationships.

#3 – Pick the one segment of your focus area you care about most.

Example: My relationship with my mother.

#4 – List all the things you care about regarding that thing.

Example: What I care about regarding my relationship with my mother:

- a) She says she is feeling lonely. Should I visit her more often?
- b) I wish she had a closer relationship with Aunt Mary.
- c) I am worried about her health. I think she should eat healthier and drink more water.
- d) I wonder what she is thinking about our recently bought house.
- e) She is always so impatient with the waiters when I take her out for lunch.
- f) She wants me to call her daily, which stresses me out.

#5 – Go through your list again. Can you discover specific patterns? Categories of things you care about?

Example: It seems I am thinking a lot about what she might think of me and what she expects of me. I am worried about her well-being, and in some regards, I am quite judgmental of her.

#6 – Deliberately choose the things you are no longer willing to care about.

Example: I am no longer willing to care about what she thinks of me (d, f). I am no longer willing to care about what (I thought) she should or shouldn’t do. (b, e)

#7 – Cross these things out on your list.

Example:

- a) She says she is feeling lonely. Should I visit her more often?
- b) wish she had a closer relationship with Aunt Mary.
- c) I am worried about her health. I think she should eat healthier and drink more water.
- d) I wonder what she is thinking about our recently bought house.
- e) She is always so impatient with the waiters when I take her out for dinner.
- f) She wants me to call her daily, which stresses me out.

#8 – Now, look at what remains on your list. These are the things you want to care about.

Are you taking care of them in the best possible way already? Is there any room for improvement?

Example:

- a) I care about her well-being. And although I know that I’m not able to take away her feelings of loneliness, I decide now to visit her twice instead of once each week.
- c) I accept that I can’t make her eat healthier or drink more. However, I’ll ensure she always has healthy snacks and enough water in her kitchen.

#9 – Finally, promise yourself that these – a) and c) – are the only things you will care about regarding your mother.

Nothing else.

Only these two things.

Example:

You will enjoy your relationship with your mother much more – because you now know you care about and take care of what’s most important to you.

Most probably, your mother will enjoy her relationship with you also more. 🙂

Downsizing: Start your preparation by knocking your ‘Clutter Champions’ off their pedestals

Downsizing to a smaller place is impossible without rigorously ‘downsizing’ your furniture and belongings.

The best—and probably easiest—way to start preparing for your downsizing project is to identify and tackle your ‘clutter champions’.

What Are Clutter Champions?

Clutter champions are the areas and belongings that accumulate over time, serving no real purpose and cluttering your space.

They are the items and areas in your home that:

- Are ignored and unused
- Get hidden away (under the bed, in a garage corner)
- Collect dust or rust

Examples of Clutter Champions

- Overcrowded spaces like a garage with no room for the car
- Unused furniture, such as an inherited armchair
- Books you no longer read or recipe books you never open
- Piles of untouched papers
- Old school or work materials
- Kitchen appliances that don’t match your current habits
- Dressers filled with out-of-fashion clothes
- Wardrobes full of clothes that don’t fit or are rarely worn
- Unused 24-piece cutlery sets from long-ago weddings
- Etc.
- (Can you think of one of your Clutter Champions right away?)

Clutter champions occupy space and weigh us down mentally. They remind us of unfinished tasks and make us feel guilty for not dealing with them.

And, of course, –

Clutter champions don’t deserve a space in your new home!

You must confront your clutter champions and move them out of your home – before you move out.

Action Plan to Defeat Your Clutter Champions

Step 1: Identify Your Clutter Champions

Walk through your home: Open every door and look around each room.

Ask yourself:

- Are there any clutter champions here?
- What’s here that doesn’t serve me anymore?
- What have I not used for ages?
- What makes me feel ashamed or frustrated?

Be thorough: Look under beds, into cupboards, drawers, and bags. Take photos if that helps to get a clearer picture.

Step 2: List Your Clutter Champions

Create a comprehensive list of all your clutter champions.

Your list might look something like this:

- Bookshelves in the guest room
- Storage unit
- Garden tools in the shed
- Boxes with Aunt Angie’s dishes in the attic
- Box with paperwork inherited from Grandpa
- Lucy’s artwork (under the bed in the guest room)

Step 3: Reflect on Your Clutter Champions

Spend some time understanding each item:

- What’s the story behind this item?
- Why did I keep it after it lost its usefulness?
- How do I feel about having it?
- How would I feel if it were gone?
- Am I ready to let it go? Now?

Step 4: Make a Decision

Choose one clutter champion to start with:

‘This is the clutter champion I will clear up first: ……’

Step 5: Take Action

Estimate the time needed: Determine how long it will take to tackle your first clutter champion.

Schedule decluttering sessions: Mark them in your calendar and commit to them.

Do the work: Follow through and create space by letting go of what no longer serves you.

Celebrate the wins: Appreciate and enjoy the space and peace of mind you gained.

By eliminating your clutter champions, you’ll create more physical space and free up mental space.

You will feel more capable and ready to tackle other areas of your home and categories of belongings that need some ‘downsizing’ before you move.

Start tackling your clutter champions today – and transform the beginning of your downsizing project into a positive, empowering experience!

Another important downsizing task:

Your Radical Paperwork Optimisation Project.

The goal is to reduce the physical and digital paperwork you have accumulated over the years by 50% and organise the remaining 50% efficiently and simply.

The Optimised Paperwork Newsletter will teach you all you need to know about the Radical Paperwork Optimisation approach.

Join the Optimised paperwork newsletter here

Downsizing – 9 Questions to make the move easier.

Why can it be so hard to get a house ready for downsizing?

There are many reasons – these three are the most relevant for most people:

1. – Downsizing is a major life change.

When we decide to downsize, we are not just changing our physical location.

We are also leaving behind a larger home that holds memories of our past and present lives. The smaller space we move into will initially be unfamiliar – and it will shape our future.

Downsizing is, in essence, a significant life transition.

Continue reading Downsizing – 9 Questions to make the move easier.

Your top priorities make it easier to plan and organise your life intentionally.

Living intentionally means that you deliberately decide how you want to live – and what you want to do to create the life you want.

It means that you don’t let life just happen to you and purely react to its circumstances and challenges.

Instead, you actively define what’s important to you and how you want to experience and live your life.

You are well aware of your priorities and proactively make changes that move you toward the life you want to live.

Your priorities give your life direction and guidance.

Planning your life with intention doesn’t have to be an intimidating or overwhelming exercise.

If you regularly check and update your priorities, you are well prepared to act and react confidently when faced with bigger or smaller decisions in everyday life.

Your priorities also direct and guide you when you must manage a significant life challenge:

- A planned transition like entering retirement, becoming an empty nester, downsizing,
- or an unexpected event like divorce, the loss of a job, a critical illness, or the death of a loved one.

How do you choose your priorities – and direct your life in the way you want it to go?

Continue reading Your top priorities make it easier to plan and organise your life intentionally.

Living intentionally means that we carefully pay attention to where we put our attention.

Our lives and our experience of life reflect where we spend most of our attention.

The thoughts that we paid the most attention to in the past, the ones we thought most frequently, are the thoughts that have created our current results.

The thoughts we pay most attention to today, those we are thinking most frequently right now, will create our future results.

Our attention is our most powerful resource. And we can intentionally make good use of this resource. We have the power to control where we place our attention.

However, the amount of attention available to us is limited.

At any given moment, we can pay attention to only one thing. Just one.

That’s why it is so important to intentionally decide where we want to put our attention.

Two powerful decluttering questions

Do you plan to do some decluttering work – and feel stuck?

If you don’t feel motivated to get your stuff sorted out and to let go of any clutter, or if you feel motivated but feel unable to decide what’s actually clutter and what’s not,

I suggest you answer two questions – although it might feel a bit uncomfortable.

Ask yourself:

- Who will most probably (have to) clear up my belongings after my death?
- And what do I want them to think about my stuff – and about me?

Yes, I know, most of us don’t like to think about our mortality.

That’s why we actively avoid thinking about what is going to happen with our personal stuff and who will have to take care of it when we pass away.

Answering the questions can bring clarity and make decluttering decisions easier.

Living Intentionally – Short Introduction – Part 3

In Part 1 of this short introduction series, we defined what living intentionally means, in a broader and in a more narrow way.

In Part 2, we listed some typical life situations to get a clearer idea of what intentional living might look like in real life.

Today, I want to briefly discuss a simple framework that helps us create a more intentional life.

Living intentionally – How do we get there?

No matter what the specific intention behind a client’s decluttering or organising project is, we always use my simple 3-step process – the ‘ADA Framework’ – to realise the desired outcomes successfully.

The ADA Framework

These are the steps that my clients practice and implement to actively take control and create the life they want to live:

Living Intentionally – Short Introduction – Part 2

Now, that we have defined what intentional living means, it’s time to consider how the concept plays out in real life.

Living intentionally – What does that look like?

Living an intentional and organised life looks different for each of us, of course.

Each of my clients has very personal and unique goals and ideas about what they want to achieve and why they want that.

Decluttering and organising physical stuff and personal information.

For some of my clients, the focus of the work is creating more space and order in their personal environment. They want to clear their home and belongings or optimise their physical paperwork and digital information management. Their intention is to enjoy more spaciousness, clarity, and lightness.

Planning, organising, and successfully realising bigger changes in life.

Living Intentionally – Short Introduction – Part 1

Living intentionally – What does that mean?

Basically, living intentionally means that we deliberately decide how we want to live our life. And then we act on that.

We don’t let life just happen to us and purely react to its circumstances and challenges.

Instead, we actively define what’s important to us and how we want to experience and live our life.

We proactively make any necessary changes, even if that doesn’t feel very comfortable.

And we get ourselves well prepared for the challenges and opportunities the future might bring along.

Specifically, living intentionally means that we get good at thinking and acting intentionally.

It means that we actively

Clutter Awareness – 4 ways to get to know your stuff better

Before you can decide what to declutter you need to know what you have

If you don’t feel completely comfortable in your home but struggle to decide what you should change or what you should let go of, you can use little experimental exercises that are not only fun but also help you see your home from a different and more neutral point of view.

Your increased awareness will help you make more confident and determined decluttering decisions.

EXERCISE 1 – Take the view of a stranger who is visiting for the first time

Go outside and enter your home through the front door again.

Walk through all rooms and pretend to see all your furniture and belongings for the first time.

Which assumptions are you making about the people living in this place?

Take notes of the thoughts, feelings, and judgments that come up.

EXERCISE 2 – Imagine you would move out soon

Continue reading Clutter Awareness – 4 ways to get to know your stuff better