Category: Intentional Living

One of the most powerful – and most helpful – concepts I learned during my coaching qualification is this:

Life is 50-50.

(For a comprehensive introduction to the concept: The Life Coach School, Brooke Castillo, Podcast #331: Good AND bad)

It means life will always be a mix of positive and negative experiences. People, too, including ourselves, are never entirely good or entirely bad. We’re all a beautiful, complicated mix of both.

This perspective can feel radical at first, especially if you’ve spent years trying to “fix” yourself or others, striving for perfection, or believing happiness means the absence of challenges.

Embracing life’s duality can bring incredible freedom.

Here’s why this matters so much in retirement:

This stage of life brings more time with ourselves and with those we love. And while this extra time can deepen bonds, it can also surface old tensions or create new ones. Differences in habits, opinions, or desires can feel more obvious.

When we apply the 50-50 concept to our relationships, something shifts:

• • We see loved ones as whole humans—good and bad—just like us.
  • We stop judging and start understanding.
  • We let go of the exhausting search for “perfect”.
  • We open up to deeper, more compassionate connections.

 

A self-reflection exercise
Using my ADA framework (Awareness – Decisions – Actions), let’s explore how you might use this mindset shift with someone important to you.

Step 1 – Awareness
Think about a relationship where you feel some tension. Notice your current thoughts about this person. Are you expecting them to be “better” or “different”? Can you see where they, like all of us, are a mix of strengths and flaws?

Example: “My friend always cancels plans last minute. It frustrates me. But she is also the one who shows up in a big way when I really need support.”

Step 2 – Decisions
Decide how you want to think and feel about this person, knowing they are 50-50. What perspective would serve you better?

Example: “I choose to value her loyalty and generosity, even if her reliability isn’t perfect. I want to feel grateful instead of resentful.”

Step 3 – Actions
What could you do from this new place of acceptance? How might you approach the relationship differently?

Example: “I’ll check in with her before making plans, and I’ll create a backup option so I’m not disappointed if things change.”

This isn’t about tolerating bad behaviour or ignoring your own needs. It’s about meeting others (and yourself) with compassion and realism – so you can enjoy richer, more authentic connections.

Give it a try.

Which relationship in your life could benefit from this 50-50 perspective?

• • What are your current expectations, thoughts, and judgments in this relationship?
  • Based on the 50-50 concept, what do you want to think and feel about the other person and your relationship with them?
  • What could you do to express your acceptance of the 50-50? And to change the relationship for the better?

As you know, I believe we can create and live a retirement life we truly love – if we take the time to plan and organise it with intention.

Recently, I rediscovered a psychology framework I studied years ago, and I got very excited when I realised how powerful it could be as a strategy for building a fulfilling and successful retirement.

The framework is called PERMA, and Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, developed it.

Instead of asking “What’s missing?”, Seligman encourages us to ask, “What makes life worth living?”.

His framework focuses on five pillars of wellbeing.

The 5 Pillars of PERMA

P – Positive Emotion
Cultivate feelings like joy, gratitude, and contentment by noticing and creating moments of pleasure and appreciation.
Examples:

• • Pausing to savour your morning coffee or an evening sunset.
  • Keeping a gratitude journal, writing down three good things each day.
  • Listening to your favourite music or an uplifting podcast.
  • Spending time with a pet or in nature.
  • Treating yourself to a bouquet of flowers or preparing a favourite meal.

E – Engagement
Lose yourself in activities that fully absorb you and bring a sense of “flow” – where time seems to disappear.
Examples:

• • Getting creative: painting, woodworking, knitting, or photography.
  • Playing an instrument or learning a new one.
  • Solving puzzles, crosswords, or brain games.
  • Gardening, whether it’s a few pots on a balcony or a full backyard project.
  • Volunteering for a cause you care about, getting deeply involved in the process.

R – Relationships

Foster meaningful, supportive connections with family, friends, and your community. Strong social ties are one of the greatest predictors of wellbeing.
Examples:

• • Scheduling weekly lunches or coffee dates with friends.
  • Joining a book club, walking group, or community choir.
  • Reconnecting with old colleagues or distant relatives.
  • Planning regular video calls with family members who live far away.
  • Becoming part of an online community around a shared interest or hobby.

M – Meaning
Find purpose and connection to something larger than yourself—something that gives your life direction.
Examples:

• • Volunteering at a local food bank, hospital, or environmental group.
  • Mentoring young professionals or students in your former field.
  • Participating in faith-based or spiritual communities.
  • Supporting a cause through advocacy or fundraising.
  • Sharing your life story or writing a memoir for your family.

A – Accomplishment
Set and achieve goals that give you a sense of mastery and progress, no matter how small.
Examples:

• • Learning a new language or skill through online classes.
  • Training for a charity walk or mastering a yoga pose.
  • Organising family photos into albums or creating a digital archive.
  • Decluttering a room or setting up a more organised home office.
  • Setting up and tending a vegetable garden from scratch.

How to apply the PERMA Framework

The following little exercise can help us explore the 5 pillars, and then act:

Your PERMA mini-plan

Take 5 minutes to reflect on these five pillars.

Rate each from 0 – 10, ask yourself helpful questions, and use your answers to choose next action steps: 

Pillar	Your score (0–10)	Examples of helpful questions (and examples of next action steps)
Positive Emotion		What little things bring me joy?(Start a gratitude journal, add 3 daily entries)
Engagement		When did I last lose track of time doing something I love?(Try a hobby class)
Relationships		Who uplifts me? How can I connect more?(Schedule a coffee date or call a friend)
Meaning		What gives me purpose?(Explore volunteering or mentoring opportunities)
Accomplishment		What small goal would feel good to achieve?(Commit to a 20‑min walk 3 times/week)

A personal example

When I completed this exercise, I was generally satisfied with the scores I assigned to the five pillars. It appears that implementing the retirement success strategies I have discussed with you in this newsletter has been quite successful for me. 😊

However, I gave a lower score to the pillar ‘Positive Emotion’. This is my little next action step:

‘A handful of gratefulness’

In the evening, while brushing my teeth (toothbrush in my right hand), I use the five fingers of my left hand to remind me of five things I am grateful for.

Since it has become part of my toothbrushing routine, I rarely forget this little exercise, which always helps me end my day on a positive note.

Now it’s your turn.

As always, I recommend you start small.

Start with just one pillar this week.

And choose a small step to bring more of it into your life

What’s the first step you’ll take?

Big goals often start with enthusiasm but can lose momentum when life gets busy or challenges arise.

Whether we decide to learn a new skill, declutter a space, improve our physical fitness, etc. –  resilience is the key to staying on track.

Resilience isn’t about never struggling – it’s about continuing despite struggles and building confidence each time you overcome an obstacle.

Today, I want to discuss 5 practical steps that I learned during my coaching certification course at The Life Coach School that help us strengthen resilience.

I will provide two examples to illustrate how to apply these steps.

• • Maria is learning a new language and
  • Paul is tackling his long-term goal of clearing and cleaning the basement and attic.

Step 1: Define your “why” and make a strong commitment

Resilient people know exactly why their goal matters. A clear, personal reason fuels motivation when setbacks happen.

• • Maria wants to learn Spanish to connect deeply with her grandchildren in Mexico. She writes: “I will hold a 10-minute conversation in Spanish with my grandchildren in 6 months.” To reinforce her commitment, she sets a reward: a family video call in Spanish as her milestone celebration.
  • Paul’s basement and attic have been cluttered for years. His “why” isn’t just about tidiness – it’s about creating a safe, open space for a home workshop and freeing himself from the nagging stress of “someday I’ll get to it.” He commits: “I will have both spaces fully cleared and cleaned by October 1st.” His reward: setting up his dream woodworking area once the spaces are cleared.

Step 2: Clear away mental roadblocks

Distractions and doubts can quietly erode commitment. Spot them early and replace them with empowering actions.

• • Maria notices her evenings vanish into TV and social media. She replaces this with a quick language habit: listening to a 5-minute Spanish podcast while cooking. She also considers how she can actively confront and overcome excuses:

Excuse: “I’m too tired.” → Counteraction: Review 10 flashcards before bed.

Excuse: “I don’t have time.” → Counteraction: Do a lesson while she is presents an opportunitycooking.

• • Paul realises he’s been avoiding the basement because it feels overwhelming. He reframes the task into small chunks: “Today I’ll only sort one box.” For managing his excuses:

Excuse: “It’s too much; I’ll never finish.” → Counteraction: “I’ll set a timer for 15 minutes and stop when it rings.”

Excuse: “I don’t know where to start.” → Counteraction: “Start with the first box nearest the door.”

Step 3: Plan for moments you want to quit

The urge to quit often strikes in moments of frustration or fatigue. Anticipating it helps you stay the course.

• • Maria creates a “rescue plan” for tough days: a bare-minimum activity like saying 3 Spanish sentences out loud or revisiting yesterday’s lesson for 5 minutes.
  • Paul expects days when he won’t want to go near the clutter. His rescue plan: commit to carrying just one bag of trash or donation items out of the space. Even this small action keeps his momentum alive.

Step 4: Step into discomfort and take action

Growth requires embracing discomfort instead of avoiding it. Mistakes and mess are signs of progress.

• • Maria doesn’t wait to feel “ready.” She starts speaking Spanish from day one by greeting a native speaker at her local café. She practices daily in small ways, focusing on communication over flawless grammar.
  • Paul accepts the emotional discomfort of confronting sentimental clutter. Instead of aiming for perfection, he chooses “good enough” progress – he organises things roughly for now, knowing he can fine-tune later.

Step 5: Turn challenges into growth

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to build strength and skill. Resilient people reframe setbacks as stepping stones.

• • When Maria struggles to understand fast Spanish conversations, she doesn’t give up. She replays sentences, notes down words to look up later, and celebrates small wins – like her first successful coffee order in Spanish.
  • When Paul finds old items that stir up memories and slow his progress, he reframes this as an opportunity to strengthen his decision-making muscles. Each time he lets go of something, he builds confidence and emotional resilience. He celebrates when one corner of the basement is fully clear, giving him visible proof of progress.

Resilience is built one small choice at a time. 

Give it a try!

Choose a goal that is important to you and develop your own action plan using the 5 steps:

• • Step 1: Define your “why” and make a strong commitment.
  • Step 2: Clear away mental roadblocks.
  • Step 3: Plan for moments you want to quit.
  • Step 4: Step into discomfort and take action.
  • Step 5: Turn challenges into growth.

No matter how big or small your goal is, these steps can help you stay on track and build the resilience to see it through.

When we talk about retiring from a long professional life, we often imagine it as a moment of pure joy and relief. And yes, it can absolutely feel like that.

But I know from my own experience – and from countless conversations with friends, readers, and clients – that there’s often something else, too.

Even when we’re ready. Even when it’s the right time. Even when we’re excited about what’s ahead.

We can still feel a pang of sadness. An ache for what we’re leaving behind.

How is it possible to feel so proud and grateful for the road we’ve travelled… and yet feel so tender about stepping away from it?

The complexity of big transitions

During my coaching work – and especially through my training in grief coaching – I’ve come to see this more clearly.

Our minds are adept at seeking simple answers and clean categories.
We like things to fit neatly: happy or sad. Strong or weak. Moving on or staying stuck.

But that’s not how real life works.
That’s not how big transitions feel.

The truth I keep seeing, both in my clients’ and friends’ journeys and my own, is that it’s entirely normal to carry mixed emotions.

We can feel deep gratitude for a long, fulfilling career – and at the same time grieve the routines, relationships, and roles that gave our lives shape for so many years.

We can be hopeful and excited about retirement, while also feeling a little lost or even scared about what’s next.

What helps during our transition?

Here are some simple ways to stay grounded in this mix of emotions:

#1 – Acknowledge the full range of feelings
Try not to judge or rush them. You might say to yourself, “This is a big change. It’s natural to feel many things at once.”

#2 – Celebrate what’s behind you
Reflect on the work, relationships, and contributions you’re proud of. Write them down or create a small ritual to honour this chapter.

#3 – Stay curious about what’s ahead
Retirement isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of a new chapter, one you get to shape intentionally around what matters most to you now.

#4 – Give yourself time
Adjusting takes a while. There’s no right timeline for finding your rhythm in retirement.

And whenever life feels uncomfortable, remind yourself that both can be true:

You can love where you’re going. AND you can miss where you’ve been.

You don’t have to pick one. Just notice and accept both feelings.

That’s how you honour your journey and step gently, intentionally, into what’s next.

I wish you a great trip! 😊

As retirees, many of us seek more clarity, more time, and more energy in our lives.

One area that can often feel overwhelming is managing our personal paperwork.

Whether you’re thinking about downsizing, preparing for the unexpected, or simply want easier access to your vital information, the Very Important Paperwork (VIP) Directory offers a powerful solution.

What is the VIP Directory?

The VIP Directory is the heart of an optimised paperwork system.

It serves as a central, safe collection point for all your essential personal data and information.

Think of it as a comprehensive guide that allows you to quickly access critical information whenever you need it – whether for daily tasks, such as filling out a form, or during more serious situations, like an emergency.

It’s designed to help you radically reduce the amount of physical and digital paperwork you keep, streamlining your life and providing immense peace of mind.

Crucially, the VIP Directory is not just for you; it’s also a reliable legacy guide that supports your loved ones by providing them with clear and understandable access to your affairs if you’re unable to manage them yourself.

Its digital duplicate can even “live” in the cloud, making it available wherever you go.

To help you get started on creating your own VIP Directory – the core of your optimised paperwork system -, I compiled a series of articles about the ‘Radical Paperwork Optimisation and the VIP Directory’.

It provides all the information and tools you need to begin and complete the process successfully.

The following short summaries of key articles from the series are supposed to introduce the main features of the VIP Directory to you. The header of each summary links to the full article – in case you want to go deeper.

Do you have an ‘Important Documents Folder?’ – A little case study.

This foundational article introduces the concept of an “Important Documents” folder, explaining its evolution into the modern VIP Directory as a central and secure collection point for essential personal information. It highlights how the VIP Directory simplifies daily access to data and supports loved ones in times of emergency.

Taking care of your loved ones – by getting your paperwork in order.

Building on personal experiences, this article emphasises how an organised VIP Directory serves to protect and support your family during challenging times, such as serious illness or death, by ensuring they can easily access and manage your personal affairs.

A real-life example of an optimised paperwork system.

This article offers a concrete example of an optimised paperwork system, demonstrating how the VIP Directory acts as its core, seamlessly integrating both physical and digital important information for easy management and accessibility.

The four key functions of your ‘Very Important Paperwork Directory’.

This article outlines the four primary benefits of creating a VIP Directory: centralising all important information, serving as a reliable companion for daily life, acting as a crucial legacy guide for loved ones, and facilitating self-reflection on personal values and priorities.

The structure of your Very Important Paperwork Directory (VIP Directory).

This piece explains that the VIP Directory is the “heart” of an optimised paperwork system, clarifying that its structure should be uniquely tailored to an individual’s specific life areas and needs, rather than following a universal template.

How to compile the content of your VIP Directory.

Providing practical guidance, this article outlines a straightforward, three-step process for compiling your VIP Directory: listing essential life areas, gathering relevant data for each, and noting where related additional documents are stored.

The data and information in your Very Important Paperwork Directory.

This article explores the specific types of data and information to include in your VIP Directory, recommending a structured approach with three subsections for each category: an overview, information on related physical and digital paperwork, and a dedicated space for notes and to-do items.

Free Download Template – Table of Contents – VIP Directory.

This article offers a downloadable template for the VIP Directory’s table of contents, providing a helpful starting point and suggestions for content, along with practical tips for compiling, maintaining, and getting feedback on your personalised directory. 

 

Compiling a VIP Directory as the foundation of an optimised paperwork system can be a huge project.

However, as soon as you have created your VIP Directory, you will regret that you haven’t done it earlier. This is my personal experience, and it’s similar to what I’ve heard from anyone who has gone through the process and now feels so much relief and clarity whenever they open their VIP Directory.

I love my VIP Directory – and I’d love to help you create your own.

If you have any questions or wish to discuss your personal paperwork organisation needs – get in touch. (margot@letgo-moveon.com.au)

We’ve spent most of our lives measuring progress by what we get done – ticking off tasks, meeting deadlines, staying busy.

Retirement gives us the freedom to shift our focus. It’s no longer just about doing; it’s more about being.

It’s about asking (and answering!): Who do I want to be in this phase of my life?

A to-do list helps us fill our days. A to-be list helps us fill them with meaning.

Here’s how to create one, using my simple 3-step ADA approach: awareness, decisions, actions.

Step 1: Awareness – Who do you want to be?

Start by taking time to reflect. This step is about noticing what matters most to you now.

Ask yourself:

• • What kind of person do I want to be in this stage of my life?
  • What qualities or states of being feel most important to me (e.g., calm, healthy, connected, adventurous, curious)?
  • How do I want to show up for myself and for others?

Step 2: Decisions – Create your to-be list

Now turn your awareness into clear intentions.

Decide what belongs on your to-be list. Phrase each one as an “I am” or “I want to be” statement.

Examples:

• • I want to be adventurous and try new experiences.
  • I am a supportive friend and community member.
  • I am patient and kind to myself and others.
  • I am strong and take care of my body.
  • I am a lifelong learner.
  • I am a calm and present grandmother.
  • …

Your to-be choices are not tasks to complete – they are qualities to grow into.

Step 3: Actions – Bring your to-be list to life

Your to-be list becomes powerful when paired with small, consistent actions.

For each quality, choose 1 or 2 supportive to-dos: activities, behaviours, or habits that will help you grow into the chosen qualities.

Examples:

• • To-be: healthy   –>   To-do: Walk 20 minutes daily, prepare one nutritious meal each day.
  • To-be: connected   –>   To-do: Call or visit a friend once a week, join a local group or class.
  • To-be: lifelong learner   –>   To-do: Enrol in an online course, take a weekly walk to explore unfamiliar areas of your town.

Place your to-be list somewhere visible (planner, journal, fridge) and review it regularly. Ask yourself:

“Are my daily choices moving me closer to the person I want to be?”

My example

These are my favourites on my to-be list:

I want to be curious, courageous, and compassionate.

So, in the morning, I often ask myself:

What can I do today to show up with more curiosity, courage, and/or compassion? This helps me define or adjust my to-do list, and often makes the doing more enjoyable.

Make your next to-do your to-be:

Write your first “I want to be…” statement and take one small action to support it.

Our to-do lists manage our time. Our to-be lists shape our lives.

Together, they help us create a retirement that’s not just full but deeply meaningful.

Why would we choose a ‘Soft Retirement’ approach?

In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift in how we talk about retirement.

More and more, in personal conversations with people approaching or living in retirement – and in discussions among retirement experts – there is a move away from seeing retirement as a single, clear-cut, ‘hard’ event.

Instead, it’s becoming a phase of life to be shaped intentionally and flexibly.

Andrew Middleton’s concept of “soft retirement” fits into this evolving conversation.

(Sources: Middleton’s interview on Bec Wilson’s podcast, his ‘Short course on re-thinking retirement’ – download via his website)

While not entirely new or unique, the ‘soft’ retirement approach brings together fresh insights and practical tips for navigating this transition.

Rather than viewing retirement as a hard stop, Middleton advocates for a gentler, more adaptable approach.

These are some of the ‘soft retirement’ principles he suggests:

• • Continued contribution in flexible ways
  • Redefining work as a source of joy
  • Staying healthy and financially prepared
  • Prioritising connection and meaning
  • Test-driving new roles before fully committing

8 practical ‘soft’ retirement strategies to pick from

I compiled a selection of 8 practical strategies based on Middleton’s approach, each with action steps and practical examples, so we can start – if we want – shaping our own soft retirement.

8 strategies – that sounds like a lot, but don’t worry: Not every strategy will resonate with you.

Just pick the one or two most appealing suggestions and use them to refine the design of your ideal retirement life. 

#1 – Test-Drive new roles and interests

Action step: List 3 ‘dream jobs’ or activities you have never tried. Research local opportunities to volunteer, freelance, or take part-time roles.
Practical example:
Middleton experimented with various new roles, including wedding registrar and videographer. Some he loved, others he didn’t. You could test-drive, for example, being a museum guide, barista, or yoga instructor for a season. Other ideas?

#2 – Reframe work as play and purpose

Action step: Write down ways you can turn a hobby or interest into occasional paid work or a community contribution.
Practical example:
A retired teacher might start tutoring English online two mornings a week, blending income with enjoyment. A hobby baker might decide to sell pastries at a weekend market for fun and to connect with others.

#3 – Build a “Portfolio Life”

Action step: Create a mind map of activities – paid, volunteer, creative, leisure – that you would enjoy combining in your weekly routine.
Practical example:
A friend of mine splits her week between dog-walking for a neighbour, mentoring young professionals, and watercolour painting. Each adds variety and purpose without full-time commitment.

#4 – Prioritise health as an enabler

Action step: Schedule a health check-up and commit to one new physical activity this month.
Practical example:
Middleton began Pilates and treadmill workouts after a doctor’s warning. You might consider joining a walking group, trying aqua aerobics, or starting daily stretching to boost your vitality.

#5 – Plan financially for freedom and flexibility

Action step: Review your current financial position and identify how much you need to cover basics so additional earnings can feel like a ‘bonus.’
Practical example:
A couple calculated that their pensions cover essentials, giving them freedom to launch a small online shop without pressure for high profits.

#6 – Nurture and expand relationships

Action step: Reach out to 2 old friends and schedule a catch-up. Join a local group (such as a hobby, fitness, or volunteering group) this month.
Practical example:
Middleton emphasises the importance of avoiding isolation by forging intergenerational connections – consider joining a book club that welcomes all ages or volunteering in schools.

#7 – Keep learning and growing

Action step: Enrol in one short online or community course that sparks your curiosity.
Practical example:
Consider trying photography, digital marketing, or learning a foreign language. I know a retiree who took a videography course and started helping local businesses with promo videos part-time.

#8 – Live with intention and gratitude

Action step: Start a daily gratitude practice by noting 3 things you appreciate each morning. Pair this with setting one small intention for the day.
Practical example:
Middleton found joy in small daily rituals. You might decide, ‘Today I’ll walk in the park and call my sister,’ giving your day from the start an intentional direction.

Retirement is about stepping into the next version of our lives.

Middleton’s soft retirement reframes ageing not as decline, but as expansion.

I agree.

If we choose, we can make our retirement life as rich and dynamic as any other stage of life.

We can intentionally decide to step into roles that are lighter, more playful, and more aligned with who we are and what we value most.

What do you think?

The success of any bigger project depends on you – on your commitment and resilience. And the level of your commitment and resilience depends on the strength of your ‘compelling reason’.

A strong “why” is at the heart of achieving any meaningful goal.

It’s not enough to simply want something or believe it’s possible; you need a strong, motivating reason – a compelling reason – that fuels your actions, especially when facing challenges.

How does a compelling reason work?

• • It boosts your resilience: Resilience is your ability to bounce back from setbacks and keep moving forward. This quality is essential for success, and the strength of your compelling reason has a direct influence on it.
  • It solidifies your commitment: Commitment is about making a firm decision to see something through, no matter the obstacles. When you have a compelling reason, it becomes much easier to maintain that unwavering dedication.
  • It helps you overcome fear and doubt: Fear of failure, discomfort, or the unknown can hold you back. But when you have a clear and powerful “why,” these worries become less significant, allowing you to push through with greater confidence.

PRACTICAL EXAMPLE: Downsizing in retirement

Let’s imagine you decided to downsize. However, you haven’t yet started to organise this project.

Yes, you long for a smaller, simpler living space. But whenever you think about your downsizing project, you feel overwhelmed by the massive task of sorting, decluttering, reorganising, and then moving your belongings.

This is where a compelling reason becomes crucial.

People downsize for various reasons; you must find and understand your main reason.

It could be one of these reasons or something else:

• • Gaining more freedom and time to travel or pursue hobbies: The desire for a less demanding living space to unlock more time for fulfilling experiences can be a powerful motivator.

• • Creating a more peaceful and manageable environment: The vision of a clutter-free, easy-to-maintain home that promotes relaxation and well-being can be highly compelling.
  • Moving closer to family or a supportive community: The desire to be nearer to loved ones or to join a more vibrant and social environment can provide strong emotional motivation.

As soon as you know your compelling reason, you can make it ‘work’ for you and help you achieve what you want.

Step-by-step guide for applying the compelling reason:

Here’s how you can use a compelling reason to downsize successfully:

1. 1. Uncover your compelling why: Explore the deeper reasons behind your desire to downsize. What will a smaller, simpler life allow you to do or experience? Why is that important to you? What feelings will it evoke? Dig deep and refine your “why” until it resonates deeply and fuels your commitment.
   2. Acknowledge competing desires: Identify what might tempt you to stay in your current home, such as sentimental attachments to belongings, fear of change, or concerns about the logistics of moving. Recognise these feelings without judgment and remind yourself of the greater benefits that await you on the other side of the downsizing process.
   3. Make a decision and commit: Firmly decide that downsizing is what you want. Write down your commitment and the date you want to achieve it by. This simple concrete action – writing it down – reinforces your decision and helps you stay accountable.
   4. Refuse confusion: Don’t get bogged down by the complexity of the task or the uncertainty of exactly how to do everything. You don’t need to have every detail figured out before you begin. Commit to figuring things out along the way.dedication
   5. Embrace discomfort: Accepting that downsizing will involve some level of discomfort – physically, emotionally, and mentally – is essential. Remind yourself that this discomfort is temporary and that the rewards of a simpler, more fulfilling life will far outweigh any temporary challenges.
   6. Don’t give up: You might encounter unexpected obstacles or moments of doubt. When this happens, revisit your compelling reason. Visualise the life you’re creating and remind yourself why it matters so much. Use setbacks as opportunities to learn and become even more resourceful.

Important to remember:

Your compelling reason is YOUR reason. It doesn’t need to impress anyone but you. The more personal and meaningful it is, the greater its impact will be.

Next time you consider starting a bigger project, remember that a strong “why” is at the heart of achieving any meaningful goal.

If you wish to talk about your next retirement project or need some help to find your ‘why’, just get in touch (margot@letgo-moveon.com.au) – so we can arrange a date and time for a private Zoom conversation.

Retirement provides us with the time and freedom to pursue our existing interests and follow our curiosity.

However, when it comes to learning something new – whether it’s photo-graphy, investing, or our family history – it’s easy to become overwhelmed or lost in the planning process.

Tiago Forte’s 4-stage system (blog post “My 4-Stage System for Learning Anything New”) makes learning new things easier and more enjoyable.

I’ve adapted his four stages to make them usable for the development of new interests in retirement. And I added a Step 0 to help us choose what to focus on first.

The 5 steps to explore new passions with ease

Step 0 – Pick a topic that sparks your interest

Before you begin, choose something you are genuinely curious about. Don’t worry if it’s “useful” or “productive.” What matters is that you’re interested enough to spend a little time on it.

Here comes a collection of ideas to help you get inspired:

Creative hobbies

• • Watercolour painting
  • Knitting or crocheting
  • Digital photography
  • Learning to play an instrument
  • Writing short stories or memoirs

Health and wellbeing

• • Mindful movement (like tai chi or gentle yoga)
  • Meal planning for healthy ageing
  • Brain fitness and memory games
  • Sleep improvement strategies
  • Strength and balance training for over 60s

Money and retirement planning

• • Making a simple retirement budget
  • Understanding superannuation and pension rules
  • Estate planning basics
  • Downsizing or decluttering
  • Ethical investing for beginners

Science and Nature

• • Astronomy for beginners
  • Birdwatching and local wildlife
  • Geology or weather patterns
  • How the human brain works
  • Climate change and sustainability

History and culture

• • Local or family history
  • World War II from a personal perspective
  • The history of classical music
  • Art history (pick a period or artist)
  • Ancient civilisations

I chose the topic ‘Family history – Exploring your ancestry’ to take you through the 4 steps that are based on Forte’s stages:

Step 1 – Get curious

Just dip your toes in – no pressure!

Start by simply exposing yourself to the topic. Don’t overthink it. Read, listen, watch – just start absorbing.

Example: Exploring your ancestry

• • Subscribe to a newsletter about family tree creation
  • Follow a YouTube channel about genealogy basics
  • Listen to a podcast episode about someone’s discovery of their roots
  • Visit your local library and borrow a book on family history
  • Instead of watching general news tonight, watch a documentary about immigration to Australia

Next step: Spend 30 minutes this week exploring the topic. Pick whatever format feels easiest.

Step 2 – Try it out

Do something small and real.

Now, stop reading/watching and start doing. Pick a simple, doable project and give yourself a short deadline.

Example: Exploring your ancestry

• • Choose one grandparent and sketch a family tree for their side
  • Spend one weekend gathering old family photos and notes
  • Use a free online tool like FamilySearch.org to look up one ancestor
  • Ask a relative for stories or names from past generations

Next step: Complete one small family history project this week – even if it’s imperfect.

Step 3 – Learn from someone who’s been there

Find a real guide, not a social media crowd.

Once you have dipped your toe and tried a little project, it’s time to find a trusted teacher.

Example: Exploring your ancestry

• • Attend a workshop at your local genealogy group or library
  • Sign up for an online course from a respected genealogy educator
  • Follow one expert’s blog and ignore the rest
  • Borrow a practical how-to book on researching ancestry in Australia

Next step: Choose one teacher or resource to go deeper with. Don’t juggle too many.

Step 4 – Connect with others

Learning is better together.

Find or create a group to share your interest. It helps keep your motivation up—and it’s more fun.

Example: Exploring your ancestry

• • Join a local genealogy club or Facebook group
  • Host a “family history” afternoon with your kids or grandkids
  • Organise a photo-scanning day with siblings or cousins
  • Offer to give a short talk at your community centre about what you’ve found
  • Start a simple ancestry binder to share at family gatherings

Next step: Make one connection – attend a meeting, post a question online, or invite a friend to join you.

Important tip: Declutter if it’s not the right fit.

It’s important to remember that we don’t have to finish everything we start. We can decide, at any time, that something isn’t as interesting or exciting to us as we thought.

If your excitement fades after Step 1 or 2, that’s okay. You’re not failing – you’re just filtering. Only a few topics will grow into true passions. The rest? Enjoy the taste and move on.

Now it’s your turn:

Pick one topic that lights you up and gently explore it. 

By then following the 4 steps, you can enjoy learning new things in retirement – without overwhelm.

In his LinkedIn article ​“Graduation Meets Longevity Thinking: 3 Questions for Life Ahead”​, Dr Joe Coughlin introduces the concept of “longevity thinking” – a mindset that he thinks is crucial for navigating an era where individuals will live and work significantly longer, potentially into their 90s or beyond.

Dr Coughlin argues that the traditional question, “What do you want to be?” after college is obsolete, as careers are no longer linear paths.

Instead, he proposes three essential questions for graduates preparing for a multi-stage life.

I think the three questions are not only a powerful future-planning tool after graduation from college, but also after ‘graduation’ from work:

Asking and answering these questions can help us design, plan, organise, and live our retirement life intentionally and successfully.

 

Longevity Thinking Exercise

This is how you can start to apply the three key questions of “longevity thinking” to your retirement planning:

#1 – What problems do you love solving?

Identifying the “problems you love solving” can provide inspiration and ideas that help design a retirement aligned with your core priorities, interests, and skills.

For example, someone who loves helping people understand each other could transition from a teaching career to becoming a community mediator or a podcast host in retirement. The title of the job or activity might change while the underlying passion remains constant.

#2 – How will you keep learning throughout your life?

Skills expire faster than ever. Continuous learning – whether formal or self-directed – keeps our minds sharp and our options open well into our 80s.

That’s why we shouldn’t view learning as a burden or solely as an ‘entertainment’ activity for retirement. It is the only way to maintain personal skills, knowledge, and engagement in an ever-changing environment.

#3 – How do you want to invest your time?

Time is a non-renewable currency. It is crucial to deliberately allocate our time across core life areas, including health, relationships, growth projects, and leisure activities.

The ‘compound interest of time’ suggests that intentional investments, such as learning a new skill, fostering friendships, or mentoring others, can yield significant long-term returns in terms of personal fulfilment, support, and goodwill.

 

Next action steps – Some suggestions:

For “What problems do I love solving?”

Keep a one-week journal of the issues that make you feel engaged and energised

Example: Realise and note that you lit up when showing your neighbours how to use their new phone.

Ask 3 people who know you well which problems they see you fix frequently.

Example: Friends point out to you that you always excel at organising tangled paperwork.

Run a 6-week experiment in an area where you love solving problems.

Example: Volunteer at the local library’s tech-help desk to test

For “How will I keep learning?”

Block a weekly 2-hour learning slot.

Example: Thursday, 10 a.m. – noon, for an online photography course.

Blend learning formats to suit your style.

Example: A Spanish podcast on walks, and a café conversation group on Friday.

Exchange monthly ‘what I learned’ summaries with a (learning) friend – for accountability.

Example: Email him the top three takeaways; receive his in return.

For “How do I want to invest my time?”

Draft your personal ‘time portfolio’ (e.g., Core 50% / Growth 30% / Fun 20%)

Example: Core = fitness & family; Growth = tutoring; Fun = painting class.

Plan in 90-day investment sprints – for agility.

Example: Commit to a 12-week community-garden role instead of a multi-year board seat.

Automate or delegate one recurring chore each month.

Example: Switch utilities to direct debit to reclaim admin hours.

 

Tip:

If you want to get the most out of this exercise, consider your answers to the 3 questions thoroughly and explore a range of next action steps – but then choose ONLY ONE action.

And then do it! Because the compound interest of intentional time begins immediately. 😊

As we approach or embrace retirement, understanding who we truly are becomes more important than ever. Knowing our core personal qualities helps us make intentional decisions and live with purpose in this new phase of life.

This simple 5-step exercise will guide you in identifying the five qualities that define and inspire you the most:

The ‘Who am I?’ Exercise – Discover your 5 core qualities

The exercise is fun. It can also feel a bit challenging – and it can give you super-valuable insights.

(Source: The ‘Trolls Travels’ Exercise, The Coaching Tools Company)

Step 1: Make a list of 50 personal qualities – qualities that make up your personality.

List any qualities that come to your mind, including those that you think are ‘negative’ or ‘unimportant’. List anything that you believe contributes to making you the person you are.

Start now, write down quality after quality, in no particular order, and don’t stop until you have collected 50 qualities.

If you struggle to get started, you can google ‘personal qualities’ – but be careful to only include in your list what you truly believe is one of your qualities (not the qualities you ‘should’ have or would like to have).

Example list:

Honest, disciplined, moody, attentive, compassionate, curious, sometimes judgemental, animal lover, athletic, caring, quickly bored, engaged, determined, occasionally defensive, good cook, friendly neighbour, good listener, team player, courageous, self-critical, impatient, ocean swimmer, trustworthy, people-pleaser, hard worker, reliable friend, over-thinking, demanding, understanding, supportive, not good at housekeeping, …..

Step 2: Decluttering Round 1 – Declutter 30% (=15) of the qualities on your list.

• • What 15 qualities will you give away first? (The ones you think are part of who you are, but you don’t value them most.)
  • Go through your list and use a colour pen to strike through 15 qualities about yourself that you value least.

Step 3: Decluttering Round 2 – Declutter another 30% of the qualities on your list.

• • What 15 qualities will you give away next? (Again, you believe that they are part of you, but they are not your favourites.)
  • Go through your list and use another colour pen to cross out another 15 qualities.

Step 4: Decluttering Round 3 – Declutter the final 30% of the qualities on your list.

• • What final 15 qualities will you sort out? (Yes, you might value each of them a lot, but they don’t belong in the group of the top five.)
  • Go through your list for the last time and use another colour pen again to cross out the last 15 qualities.

The third decluttering round can be particularly hard. And it is crucial.

You will leave this round with the five qualities that you think are so important to you and your life that decluttering them is not an option.

Instead, you want to give your full attention to these qualities, and you want to practice them intensively and apply them in all areas of your life.

Step 5: Review the decluttering process and results.

Look at your list again and consider questions like these:

• • Which qualities were easiest to give up? Why?
  • Which qualities were hardest to give up? Why?
  • How do you feel about the remaining five qualities?
  • Are these qualities the ones you want to focus on in life?
  • If yes, how can you make sure to prioritise them in your daily life?
  • If not, why is that? And how can you find the qualities you want to have and focus on?
  • What have you learned about yourself during this exercise?

I completed this exercise some months ago and recall that I didn’t take it very seriously when I began. And then I was seriously impressed when I’d completed it. And quite surprised.

Because I realised that I actually didn’t like one of my 5 top qualities.

That didn’t feel comfortable. One of the five qualities that I thought described me best – and I didn’t like it?!

I decided to ‘declutter’ that quality, to give it up step by step.

And I chose another quality as part of ‘my top 5 team’, determined to strengthen this quality in my daily life, step by step. (I’m still working on this.)

Based on my experience, I recommend you take this exercise seriously – and do it now!