Grief is a natural human response to any perceived loss.
(I learned to appreciate and use this understanding of grief in my grief-coaching qualification with Krista St Germain.)
Grief may arise during the transition from professional life to retirement as you experience the loss of your professional role, daily routine, social connections, or sense of purpose.
This grief is not a sign that something is wrong, but rather an indicator of what you valued in your professional life.
By seeing grief as a compass, you can use it to guide you toward a meaningful and intentional retirement.
I recommend using my ADA approach to navigate this transition effectively. (I introduced the ADA framework in newsletter #4.)
The simple three-step framework will help you identify your values, align your future life with them, and take purposeful steps forward.
Here’s how it works:
Navigating grief in the transition to retirement: Using the ADA Approach
Step 1 – Awareness
The first step is to become aware of what you have lost and assess what you valued in your professional life.
This involves reflecting on the aspects of your career that brought you the most satisfaction and fulfilment.
Take a few moments to journal about these questions:
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- What did I value most about my work?
- Was it the sense of accomplishment, the routine, the social interactions, or perhaps the opportunities to learn and grow? What else was important to me?
- How did these aspects contribute to my sense of identity and purpose?
A former client, Mary, struggled to structure and enjoy her new life after she retired as a teacher. The exercise helped her recognise that she deeply valued her role in fostering learning and building connections with her students. She realised that her grief was tied to the loss of meaningful interactions and the joy of helping others grow.
Step 2 – Decision
Once you understand your past values, the next step is to decide what you want to prioritise in your future.
This involves designing a life that aligns with your chosen values and creating opportunities to carry them forward into retirement.
Ask yourself:
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- What values do I want to bring into my post-retirement life?
- How can I incorporate these values into my daily routines and activities?
- What new goals or projects could help me fulfil these values?
Using Mary’s example, after Step 1, she was determined to continue fostering learning and building connections in retirement. She decided to explore opportunities to volunteer as a tutor and to join a book club to stay engaged in intellectual discussions.
Step 3 – Action
The final step is to create a concrete action plan and implement it in small, manageable steps.
Adjustments may be necessary along the way, but the key is to begin taking action to align your life with your values.
Follow a plan:
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- Write down three small actions you can take this week to move closer to a values-driven retirement.
- For each action, identify potential obstacles and plan how to overcome them.
- Reflect on your progress regularly and adjust your plan as needed.
Mary’s first steps included researching local tutoring programs, contacting a nearby library about volunteer opportunities, and scheduling her first book club meeting. These small steps helped her start rebuilding a sense of purpose and fulfilment.
Embracing grief as a compass
Grief is a sign that you cared deeply about your professional life and its associated values.
By using the ADA approach, you can transform this grief into a guiding compass, helping you design a retirement that is both meaningful and aligned with what truly matters to you. This transition is an opportunity to grow, redefine your purpose, and create a fulfilling new chapter in your life.