You are the storyteller of your life

“How we see ourselves is the most important factor in what we will do and the results we will get in our lives.” (Brooke Castillo, The Life Coach School)

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Your story determines your life. 

The greatest gift you can give yourself is to intentionally decide what you tell yourself and others about yourself and your life. 

The stories we tell ourselves determine how we show up in life – and how we show up in life determines the results we get.

If we want to make changes in our lives, we need to intentionally change the stories/thoughts in our minds.

• • First, we have to become aware of the stories we tell about ourselves. 
  • Then, we clean up our stories about ourselves. We declutter any self-limiting thoughts and replace them with new ones.
  • Supported by our new thoughts about ourselves, we tell a different story and can start to feel and act differently, more in accordance with who and how we want to be. 

What’s your (current) story?

Our thoughts often are so ‘normal’ and common that we don’t realise we have them.

We have to learn to pay close attention to what’s going on in our minds.

Take the questions listed below as a guideline and start to write down your story by answering the questions.

Don’t overthink it, just start writing. Trust yourself and don’t hold yourself back, tell yourself all your thoughts about yourself and your life.

Ask yourself questions like these 

• • What do I think about myself? About my personality?
  • What do I think about my abilities? About my weaknesses?
  • What do I think about my accomplishments? About my failures?
  • What do I think about myself compared to others?
  • What do I think about my life?
  • What do I think about important parts of my life (my relationships, my finances, my work, my home, etc.)?
  • What do I think about my past?
  • What do I think about my future?
  • What else do you think is important to think about?

What do you like about your story? What do you not like?

Write it down.

What could be your new story?

Now, write the story you want to tell about yourself. There are no limitations. You can tell any story about yourself and your life. 

Useful questions to ask yourself – and answer:

• • Who do I want to be?
  • How do I want to define myself?
  • How do I want to think about myself?
  • How do I want to feel about myself?
  • What do I want to achieve?
  • What do I want my story to be? If my life was a book, what are the titles of this book and its chapters?
  • What do I want the next stage of my life to look like? What’s the title of this new chapter in my life book?
  • What else do you want to ask yourself – and answer?

Don’t rush into your new story! 

For many of us, putting ourselves in the centre of our attention and care feels a bit weird.

Intentionally thinking about ourselves and uncovering the stories we have been telling ourselves (and others) about our lives and about ourselves are activities we are not used to and we have not been trained to do.

So, you mustn’t try to rush through the process.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t feel like noticing, observing, evaluating your thoughts about yourself. Take your time.

Always remember:

You are the storyteller.

The stories you tell about yourself, the thoughts and feelings you have about yourself – they are all choices. You can but you don’t have to keep them. You can intentionally make new choices. And tell a different story. A story you love to tell.

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“You are the storyteller of your own life, and you can create your own legend, or not.” (Isabel Allende)

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